Cluttered

Finally, Nameless Girl felt like she was going somewhere. 
Was it the right direction?
Who knew?
Was it organized and clearly building up to something great?
Absolutely not.
Everything was perfectly, unspecifically, disorderly and awry, exactly the way she wanted it. She liked the CLUTTER. 

Clutter was safe.
There were plenty of things to hide behind if she got lost, or distractions to think about if she got off-track. When the first exploratory corner failed to meet her expectations, she searched for her answers elsewhere, just like Charles Marlow in Joseph Conrad's novella, Heart of Darkness. When he traveled to Africa, exploring his uncharted territory, he didn't find what he expected to find. 

He had to maneuver the many folds and obstacles that cluttered the journey. If he had found what he was looking for, exactly the way he expected it, there would be no lesson, no story.

Baby steps? No way, Jose. She would LEAP to the next step, perhaps even skipping a few now and then. She was breaking free of the outcast box, into the uncharted territory of her life. There were no rules. There would be no final evaluation. 

Her expectations were AbStrAcT. Her mind was open. Cluttered, perhaps, but clutter was safe. She was safe. And her opportunities were boundless.

She was ready.